Heart Giggles

Makes my heart giggle


Neon themes at night
Cold air mixed with an adrenaline rush
Wandering downtown at night looking for quirks
Copious amounts of Mud
Getting glammed up. Too much makeup,not enough clothes
Boots
Dancing all night
Laughing hard
People watching
Glitter and perfume
Glossy lips, Smokey Eyes
Holding hands
Forehead kisses
Water
Running hard
Adrenalin and electro music
Muscles being worked
Steep inclines and switchbacks with the earth beneath my feet
Finish lines
Heart Swoons
Excited screams and gasps
Eclectic music
Discovery
Weird folk art
Single source light photography
Bold colors
Eyelashes and full lips
Strong noses and cheek bones
Fresh coffee and a minty cigarette
Meeting new people
Being silly
Obstacle courses

Not so bad!  I think I've been doing this for 4 months now?  Corn free, soy free and all sorts of other things free, while staying at about 1200-1400 calories a day.  I'm down 60lbs now! :)  I am feeling closer to the old-yet-newer version of me. 

Life is always changing.  I think that's pretty typical for us hyper-creative people.  Can we really live a good life that doesn't involve a lot of change?  I know that I can't! :)

I took a 4 month leave from school, to balance work and life.  I am back to school; and while I'm still figuring it out, that's as much as I can say.  Good stuff though. 

I should probably post a picture huh?

I cut and colored my hair a few days after I took the top picture.  Oh, the joys of over processed hair, when one does ones own hair. LOL!  I am thinking of going short for the summer.  Hmmm.....

Come be the flame upon my heart

Part of my creativity is my faith.  Take or leave my words how you will.  My faith is an important relationship between myself and the only father that I've ever really known.  This relationship is what drives everything else in my life, whether said or not. 

I had an assignment this week to write a letter telling God about what it is that my heart longs for.  Here it is:

Lord, my father,

I am suppose to write you a letter- telling you about the things my heart wants.  I struggle heavily with this concept, because you are my father and with love-- I fear you.  I feel it isn’t my place to tell you what I want; as you are my creator and lay hands to my future.  I trust you and know that your plans for my life are perfect what you have designed for me.  As a daughter-- a human daughter of my worldly parents--a human daughter of my worldly parents-- I was raised that hopes and desires don’t belong to me.  I struggle, knowing that I am released from those chains.  But, you know my life has been filled with hardships and toil.  You have always brought me out of hard times, but I don’t know how to dream.   Out of obedience, I write these words to you.

Lord, I ask that you  put a passion and peace on my heart.  Reveal to me, the things that I want through a peace and fiery passion on my heart.  Let me burn bright and solid; intense but pure.

I want my kids to go to sleep!  I want my kids to stop fighting!  I want my kids to behave and be obedient!  I want a lot of money!  I want a new car and another car that doesn’t break all the time!  I want, I want, I want and I also want things to be exactly how I want them and Lord, I want them NOW!!!!!  These are the things that I say in the moments where I feel discouraged, impatient, weary, afraid or unheard.  But are these things exactly what I really want??  That’s like asking for happiness to last forever!  Why would I ask for such a curse?  To want something is like demanding permanence, in something that is meant to be fleeting.  Happiness is not joy.  I dare not confuse the two. 

What  I desire is for all of my personality traits to have purpose in your perfect plan.  (..and please correct areas that need correction too.)  Lord, please use all of me!  Use every fiber of my being for your purpose.  Let me walk to you, in you and for you.  Reveal your plan for my life.  Let this fiery heart mean something to you.  Unleash my desires by revealing my heart to myself and then let me communicate what I find back to you.  Take away all of this confusion and shield me from my enemy.  Let me be blinded to everything but you, oh Lord!    Lord, I want to be a daughter that you delight in.  Let my heart be like a tender reed.  Break my heart of the things that break yours.  Let me be enamored with the things that delight your heart.  Let me be filled with a divine creativity that enables me to see  the beauty life, the way you see it.
Lord, come be the flame upon my heart.  Pursue my longing heart.

Faithfully,
Carrie

Not so bad!  Things have been overly creatively inspired and driven, and I am not complaining!  I am posting most of my photography over at http://www.carriewoomermedia.com/, which is my other site.

As for weightloss, I'm still cruisin down.  I'm getting close to the 40lbs down mark.  I'm so stoked!  The days that I biff it and eat something that I'm allergic to, I pay desperately for the following days.  So, I'm doing my best to be allergy free.  My body definately loves that.  I feel incredible. 

I am in need of a creative photoshoot, of myself.  Yes.  I am.  It's true.  :)

Punch stress in the face!!!!

New job, full time school, four kids and high stress??  Whatev's!  I got this one in the bag.  One day at a time, thank GOD!  Sometimes one moment or one second and less at a time. 
I've been eating totally on par with the lifestyle that works for me.  Splurging (but I guess, I'm not splurging, since it IS a lifestyle) every once in a while, but staying away from the things that I'm allergic too.  I've officially dropped over 20lbs as of today.  I am tickled.  I gained this weight practically over night, and it is pouring off as though it was never meant to be on in the first place.  Even though I have  a ton of new stress in my life, I'm REALLY stoked about it.  My family, my Lord, my career... I never imagined life could be THIS sweet.  I'm truly in love with my life.  Ups, downs and all. 

For now, I punch stress in the face and take life on with vigor! :D

Day 4

I did a lot of thinkin' today on what I'd do for my (something) creative.  I focused a lot on health stuff, hanging out with my kids, transferring computers and a whole lot of un-creative; but productive things.  I came up with something fun and quick. 

Bangs.  I've been going back and forth over whether or not to cut my bangs short for years.  I'm impulsive, I must say.  I saw a picture today from an ad campaign and that reminded me to do it.  I grabbed the scissors and cut them myself.  I am so glad that I did!!  I'll post a picture tomorrow.  I think it really shows off my highlights and my personality a lot more.  My middle daughter, R liked them so much that she had me cut a longer version of bangs on her.  So fun and cute!

Day 3

I can do this, I can do this!! :) I am inspired for more!

Weekly Weigh-In: Lost 10 lbs!  I know a lot of this is water, but I'll take it!  Prednisone makes you cranky hungry, and adds a bunch of water weight. Although my face is quite a bit puffy, swelling in the rest of my body is down! (This is the normal Moon-Face thing that happens while taking prednisone.  It will go away when I'm done with these meds.)  I'm really glad that I've been exercising and eating right, so the weight loss is honest! :)  WOOT! :) <3

I am on Prednisone, because I have an inflammatory disorder that causes acutely watery eyes (To the point where it looks like I am crying all the time.   I appear unhappy and miserable all the time, but I'm not.  It's embarrasing.)  This inflammatory disorder is also what has caused me to gain 65lbs this year, over the span of months.  It also is why my allergies turn into anaphylaxis so quickly; ( Click here to read about anaphylaxis. )  why my asthma gets so bad; why my ear drums rupture all the time; why my blood pressure is really high right now.  This inflammatory disorder is a symptom to something going on in my endocrine system.  That phase is next.  In the mean time, I am eating a lot of anti inflammatory foods, and exercising a lot.  I had to take some time off of school because of everything going on.  I'm just getting through the disaster from last spring, and my body hasn't really had any time to recover.  Now that we are entering another spring, I'm doing my best to avoid internal chaos that the spring and summer season bring.  Hopefully,  we will be able to replace the prednisone (steroids) with something else.   While predinsone is great for my inflammation disorder, it has some nasty side effects.  One of them is that I don't have an immune system.  I am hoping that all of these anti oxidant foods will help.  While I'm waiting, it's good to know that I can still lose weight while being on it. :)